Really Bad Vending Machine Ideas [UPDATED] (Inspired By This Pizza Vending Machine Soon to Be Seen at Your Local Mall) : Renegade Health Infographic

Thursday Jun 14 | BY |
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Be sure to read this entire post to see the full infographic…

Maybe the world will end in 2012…

I just watched one of the most disturbing videos I’ve ever seen. I’m going to share it with you here. If you have kids, cover their eyes and ears.

The video showcases a vending machine called Let’s Pizza that makes a personal pie for you in two and a half minutes. That’s right, it’s a pizza vending machine.

In this article, I’m not only going to share the video, but also share 3 other equally awful vending machine ideas (in the health sector) that I was inspired to design after coming across this unbelievable machine. You can see the infographic / design / concept plans below.

Here’s a prelude to the end of the world as we know it — in video form. Please be sure to note that the front of machine boasts that your pizza is made “only with fresh ingredients” as they refill the fixins compartments with massive, bulk bags of sauce.

Take a look…

I’m a little shaken up.

Anyway, let’s have a little more fun. Here are three other awful vending machine ideas that I thought could go next to the Let’s Pizza in your local mall, high school or DMV.

I’ve done them in infographic format, so click on the image to get a larger image. Also, you can read the descriptions below. Please be sure to share this with anyone you feel has as deranged a mind as I do…

(This has been updated from the original version thanks to your feedback! Click on the image to see a larger image)

If you’re interested in reading further, here are some more details…

Pop-It Prescription

This is a simple vending machine with a touch screen that asks you a series of 10-15 health questions then prescribes you the medication that you need based on the answers. It’s a perfect alternative to seeing the doctor since it takes the same amount of time to run through the questionnaire as the average doctor spends with their patients.

The Bariatric Bubble

This somewhat larger than normal vending machine is a street side lap belt surgery machine. Customers put in $1.00 to unlatch the door, then strap themselves into an upright gurney. When they close and latch the door, mechanical arms with scalpels attached perform lap band surgery, gastric bypass or sleeve gastrectomy in 5-10 minutes. Once you’re sowed up, the door unlatches and you can go on with your day. This procedure is not covered by insurance.

The “Make It, Fake It, Take It” Machine

This machine is your standard vending machine with a twist. Each machine is stocked with your regular vending machine snacks — pretzels, candy bars, gum — but you have the option to add additional artifical ingredients to any item you choose to order. If you want extra artificial watermelon flavor in your Bubblicious, just hit K, 7, and choose how many milliliters you’d like. Once you’ve chosen a robot arm will inject your gum with a massive flavor burst. If you want to add high fructose corn syrup to your Milky Way, punch in E then 1. MSG to your Cheez-Its? A and 3. The combinations are endless with up to 50,000 variations. Please note: Federal regulations only allow up to 5 milligrams of Butylated hydroxytoluene (BHT) per item.

Your question of the day: Are there any vending machines that you think would be equally as awful? What about an actual healthy machine? What would that look like?

Live Awesome!

Kevin Gianni

Kevin Gianni is a health author, activist and blogger. He started seriously researching personal and preventative natural health therapies in 2002 when he was struck with the reality that cancer ran deep in his family and if he didn’t change the way he was living — he might go down that same path. Since then, he’s written and edited 6 books on the subject of natural health, diet and fitness. During this time, he’s constantly been humbled by what experts claim they know and what actually is true. This has led him to experiment with many diets and protocols — including vegan, raw food, fasting, medical treatments and more — to find out what is myth and what really works in the real world.

Kevin has also traveled around the world searching for the best protocols, foods, medicines and clinics around and bringing them to the readers of his blog — which is one of the most widely read natural health blogs in the world with hundreds of thousands of visitors a month from over 150 countries around the world.

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