Can a Secret Make You Fat? : Addicted to Food Series Part 2

Tuesday Apr 19 | BY |
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is a secret keeping you addicted to food
Deer don’t keep secrets… maybe this is why they stay so trim.

[This is Part 2 of a 5 Part Series on Beating Food Addictions. This series was inspired by the OWN Network show “Addicted to Food.” Click here for Part 1.]

As a personal trainer, I would meet with clients every day.

I would get to know them personally.

I knew what they liked to do on their time off, I knew what they would eat on a regular basis (bad or good), I knew their kids names, ages and after-school activities, I sometimes knew things about them that their spouses didn’t know – a relationship with a personal trainer is an intimate thing.

In fact, it needs to be.

The reason why is because the secrets that you keep can dramatically influence your personal health and your weight.

If you have a big secret, it may be keeping you from losing weight.

I had a client once, let’s call her Sally, who was a very powerful, well credentialed, single executive in her mid-40’s.

Not only was she successful, but she was also incredibly sweet and caring.

When I first met her she was just about 400 pounds.

We worked together for a few months.

While we were training, I did my best to get to know her. The reason why is because I’ve learned that the more you know someone, the more you can help them.

Sally was frustrated. She wasn’t happy with who she was. She would eat bags of popcorn at night while watching TV, then feel sick – emotionally and physically – before she went to bed.

I really liked her and I really wanted to help.

Sally’s food addiction ran deep in her personality. My own experience with addiction taught me that in order to understand what was causing her binging was that I needed to carefully and specifically understand her past.

In my own addiction experience, I had confidence issues, I didn’t feel or couldn’t accept love, and I didn’t have a purpose.

She clearly had a purpose and she had confidence in herself too. She was a high level executive who traveled all around the country for work. If she didn’t have confidence she would have been out of work on the couch binging more. So, she was strong. That wasn’t the issue.

She definitely had a purpose too. You don’t climb up the corporate ladder without a direction.

So I thought her challenge may be personal and likely connected to her ability to feel or accept love.

Now, I have to tell you, if you want to be a good personal trainer and you want to keep your clients, you can’t start digging into their personal life on the first consult like a pushy psychologist. You need to build rapport and want to get to know someone to be able to let them come to insights about themselves they may not have realized.

I also have to say, it’s important that they come to the conclusions – not have you tell them what you think about their lives. (That’s a big mistake.)

So I got to know Sally. I got to understand her tendencies. Finally, I was able to build enough trust with her so that she would talk more openly about her past relationships.

There was one man that she still hadn’t forgiven.

The relationship had rocked her so much that she didn’t want to feel loved for fear of being hurt again.

I’m not a psychologist, but I can tell you this, her weight issues were directly related to this psychological trauma. (Or at least a large portion of them were.)

Imagine being alone every night in total fear that if you were with someone they would eventually hurt you or leave.

I’d eat popcorn too. Lots of it.

My relationship with Sally lasted no more than 6 months. In that time she managed to lose about 50 pounds, which was a great start, but she would lose and gain back weight when she traveled for work. It was frustrating for both of us and she began to feel guilty about it.

Eventually, she just wouldn’t return my calls or emails about scheduling her next sessions.

That was the last I talked to Sally.

Sometimes, it’s not someone’s time. (Sometimes, you’re just not the right teacher.)

In our time, Sally had taught me a very important lesson. Losing weight is not about fitness. It was about finding out what secrets you keep and changing your emotional reaction to them.

She couldn’t overcome her food addiction during our time together because she wasn’t willing to deal with her own emotional block to love.

Let me tell you about a success, too.

Another client, who we’ve become friends with, came out to dinner with us at Bloodroot (my 2nd favorite vegan restaurant) over the holidays.

She’s a success.

She’s lost almost 90 pounds and kept it off for over 2 years now.

Over the last year, things weren’t so hot for her. She changed jobs, she needed to move and she broke up with someone who she had a long term relationship with.

If it weren’t for her ability to be emotionally strong, she would have gained the weight back.

The reason I knew this, is because she told Annmarie and I.

She said that if she had not learned from us and her other teachers how to cope emotionally over the past 5 years, she would have shot right back up to the weight she was before we started working with her. She knew this because it had happened over and over again in her life.

This time around it was different.

She had harnessed her emotions and in turn harnessed her food addiction.

She had learned to accept her emotional shortcomings and hurt to do what was best for her – something Sally wasn’t able to do.

Both these client stories have different outcomes, but you may find that there’s a little truth in both of them for you.

The good news is that you can overcome your food addiction too, as long as you can identify your own secrets and emotional blockages.

I want to now share with you a few other secrets that can literally make you addicted to food, so you can look critically at your own situation. Some of these might get a little deep, so if you’re addicted to food or anything else, please be open to listening. It’s the first step to getting better.

1. A bad relationship.

Some people I’ve worked with don’t like their spouses or their significant others any more.

As a trainer, it was not my job to tell someone to get a divorce or break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend – but sometimes this may be the best thing for a client’s health.

If you’re not clicking with your significant other and you’re not healthy, it’s time to face the facts and have an open communication with them.

Tell them how you feel (don’t blame them) about the situation with the intention of working it out.

Come up with a plan and give it a good try. Get counseling.

Do your best to make it work. If it does, you’ll not only lose weight, but you’ll likely come to terms with your food addiction as well.

If it doesn’t, do what you need to do and, again, you’ll likely lose weight and get healthy just by clearing that toxic energy.

What someone who is in a bad relationship needs to learn is that it won’t get any better unless you make it better. If you wait around for better days, you’re going to become deeply addicted to the behaviors that take you away from the situation – and remember these behaviors can range from food addiction to Facebook addiction to alcohol and drugs.

2. A job you don’t like.

If you don’t like your job, your chances of being addicted to something increase.

I haven’t looked for a study that states this, but my personal experience tells me this is completely true.

I’ve worked with clients who ran multimillion dollar businesses who were fat and unhappy.

The reason why they were not healthy is because they didn’t like what they did. One client inherited the family business. She would have been much happier working as a teacher, not a car dealership.

Another was a wife who just didn’t want to work in her husband’s business.

The emotional strain put on you by a job you don’t like can cause addictive behavior, so it’s best to get out soon if you really want to keep your health for the long term.

3. A deeper secret.

The reason the concept of this article came to me was because of one example I saw on the premier episode of “Addicted to Food.”

In the episode, a woman named Dejuaii (pronounced deh-WHY-uh) confesses a secret that she’s been holding for over 30 years.

For this entire time, she knew that she was gay, but hadn’t told her very religious family.

It makes sense. If your father was a pastor in the catholic church (a church that doesn’t necessarily welcome homosexuality) and a leader in the community wouldn’t it be easier just to keep this secret to yourself?

For Dejuaii, that’s what she figured too.

Unfortunately, over time her decision literally wrecked her health and caused her to reach out to food to suppress her secret.

When I think of this happening, I visually picture the secret coming up her esophagus and then her eating food to stuff it down and stop it from coming out.

The faster it threatens to come out, the more food goes in. So when she’s emotionally worn down, she eats more to make sure that she doesn’t crack and blurt out her truth to the world.

It’s a distraction tactic of sorts – that works – but only to your own detriment.

If you have a secret like this, how good would it feel to finally let it out?

If you do, no matter how negative the repercussions may be, the end result will be in your best interest – emotionally and physically.

So let me ask you…

Do you know about an affair your spouse had, that you haven’t come to terms with? Are you gay and have been pretending you’re not? Do you have a disease that you haven’t told anyone about? Are you withholding something from your past that would free you if the world knew about it?

Answer these questions honestly, share your truth with others and feel yourself lighten – figuratively and literally.

4. A personal or family trauma.

The last aspect I want to address is family or physical trauma.

Your past traumas play an important role in your health and your physical appearance.

Children that are abused are much more likely to be addicted to food or substances.

Unexpected deaths can lead to abusive or addictive personalities as well.

I lost my father when I was 2 years old which put a huge strain on my mother who was pregnant with my brother at the time. I can’t say directly that this caused my addictions, but I can say that it made life harder for our family. Hard times can lead members of a family to look for outlets for satisfaction – drugs, alcohol and food are some of them.

So your family and personal traumas can affect your health, but what do you do to change your behavior?

Again, you have to be honest about everything. You need to tell someone (maybe a close friend or a coach or psychologist.)

When you release the blockage you also release the energy that begs for more of the addictive substance.

Imagine filling a sink with water but the drain is blocked with a terrible secret. The water level will rise and rise until eventually it spills over and they’re a mess on the floor. If the water isn’t released, the floors will be ruined, there will be warped boards and mold will grow.

If you pull the block out of the drain, the water flows through and the damage is averted.

If you remove your own block the energy (and weight) doesn’t build up any more.

(I was going to use an analogy of a block in your rear while you keep eating, but I think the water one is more PC. LOL! But you can imagine this too…)

The overriding message here is this…

Get your stuff out on the table – no matter what it is – big or small.

I’ve always done this – since I’ve overcome my addictions – because I know how much better it was for me mentally and physically.

When I started to eat some dairy and some eggs, I knew that it wasn’t in my best business interest to tell our vegan readers that I had changed.

But what I did know is that it was in the best interest of my own personal physical and emotional health. To keep secrets in is to block energy from releasing.

This energy can manifest as many things. For some it’s food addiction or substances, for others it’s binging and purging – no matter what the issue is, none of the manifestations are good for your health.

Tomorrow, I’m going to talk about food addiction in the raw food and healthy communities because there are a lot of health leaders and health devotes who show signs of food addiction and they may not even know it.

I want to know your thoughts: Do you know of any other possible secrets that we can hold that will affect our health?

**

Live Awesome!
Kev

Kevin Gianni

Kevin Gianni is a health author, activist and blogger. He started seriously researching personal and preventative natural health therapies in 2002 when he was struck with the reality that cancer ran deep in his family and if he didn’t change the way he was living — he might go down that same path. Since then, he’s written and edited 6 books on the subject of natural health, diet and fitness. During this time, he’s constantly been humbled by what experts claim they know and what actually is true. This has led him to experiment with many diets and protocols — including vegan, raw food, fasting, medical treatments and more — to find out what is myth and what really works in the real world.

Kevin has also traveled around the world searching for the best protocols, foods, medicines and clinics around and bringing them to the readers of his blog RenegadeHealth.com — which is one of the most widely read natural health blogs in the world with hundreds of thousands of visitors a month from over 150 countries around the world.

42 COMMENTS ON THIS POST

Comments are closed for this post.

  1. stephanie says:

    Marianne Williamson’s “A Course In Weight Loss.”

    Amazing.

  2. Tamilyn says:

    Great article.

  3. Stephanie says:

    Thank you for another insightful article! These are all issues I need to address if I plan to reach my health goals. Thank you Kevin!!

  4. Heather says:

    Great article, Kevin — I think you got the top secrets. One of the deeper secrets is sometimes the addiction itself (any addiction). Hiding that from a spouse or loved ones can cause shame…I think it makes people feel like a fraud.

    This is a good dialog — especially things like relationships and jobs that aren’t right for us. Many people don’t realize how much damage this does and I’m glad you put it out there!

    By the way, it sounds like you were a fantastic personal trainer — offering way more than personal training…sounds like you were also a health/life coach.

  5. casey says:

    this is great, I think when you are working with clients you might want to consider getting them to do trauma releasing techniques, like holosync for example

  6. Yvonne says:

    I’ve learned that the worst secrets are the ones you keep from yourself. It seems like the healthier I become, the more able I am to face my secrets and compulsions. I noticed that when I was nervous, afraid or upset, my first impulse was to eat, and eat FAST. Then I’d go run 3 miles. Weird! Noticing what I was doing, helped me to stop it. From there I traced these emotions back in time. For me, it’s a process of learning to love and accept love. So much fear involved with something that should be so easy.

    I’m one of your readers who is normally silent.

  7. mary says:

    About your comments dealing with Catholics. First of all, priests don’t get married and have kids. They may have been married before they became priests, but their wife would have died first. Men can become deacons if they are married, but if their wife dies, they do not remarry.
    Second, Catholics don’t shun people who are homosexual, we believe God loves them, but does not like when they act upon their urges. There is help for them and many cases of people working out their pasts. It is clearly stated in the Bible that God does not like it; remember, he destroyed Sadom and Gamorrah because of it.

  8. Blair says:

    THANKYOU! This was beautifully written and so true. It is amazing how you can address so many things so elegantly and be there for all of us readers! we love youuu guys!

  9. Cecile says:

    Of all your articles, these are the ones that affect me most. I am addicted to sweets, but do try to tone it down! But I am 40 pounds overweight, and at my age (63), it is very hard to lose. I feel I know why I have that addiction, but need to figure out a way to get above it.
    I am also usually a silent reader!

  10. smita says:

    Wow..how insightful …..thank you thank you thank you!!

  11. Wow great article. I am overweight and have been since my youngest son was born. I think there are a lot of hormonal reasons for my weight gain but also the emotional one of not actually wanting him has caused me a lot of pain. I was separated from his dad and we divorced when my son was three months old. Throughout the first 5 months of pregnancy I was longing for a miscarriage. My cousin was pregnant with her first child at the same time she was having her first and I was having my last. Her baby died in utero shortly before he was due to be born. I felt so guilty for wishing my bay to not be there and then she lost hers that she was so longing for. I had three healthy easy pregnancies and she had one and lost him. Thank you for this article and for allowing me to share my secret.

  12. Anna21 says:

    I didn’t know Kevin had addictions, but I am glad he overcame them and is healthy now.

    I have an addiction to sweets. At least I replaced processed sweets with raw chocolate treats and raw ice creams, as well as home made non-dairy yogurt with fruit. I am not a raw foodist, but have trouble with grains, and have food that raw food desserts agree with me. I still have to cut down, though, and increase the veggies in my diet.

    Oddly enough some people think I have an eating disorder because I do not eat processed or chemical laden foods, and eat organic as much as possible (I am hypothyroid, and very sensitive to chemicals). Since when is avoiding health-robbing carcinogens an eating disorder?

  13. Tina says:

    From another usually silent reader…
    Thank you!

  14. Pamela says:

    This is sooooo true! My husband took his life in 2009. My way of dealing was eating unhealthy food – and lots of it – chips, burgers, cookies. Prior to that I was almost 100% raw. I ate, actually consciously knowing I was stuffing down emotions. And the more unhealthy food I ate, the worse I felt . . . and it went on and on. In the last few months, I have taken my life back. I am facing my tragic loss and dealing with what has been left behind. I left a job that wasn’t working for me. I am feeling better about myself, eating healthy again, and finding joy in my life. Thank you for posting this wonderful article. Much love.

  15. Francine says:

    I once read an interesting article about how hiding debt from spouses or family was related to being overweight…
    very interesting!

  16. Geri says:

    thanks you Kevin for this, it made me cry, to know that someone actually cares. When I tell my friends I have a food addiction I don’t think it matters. One time they asked if I wanted to go out and have lunch, and then she said, ‘you don’t have to eat, you can just have a tea’!!! That is like telling an alcoholic, we are going to the bar but you don’t have to drink, you can just have some water! I don’t have lots of close friends. Thanks again for listening!

  17. Cheryl says:

    Great article!
    Food addiction. A co-worker & I had this discussion yesterday at work. We work in a very difficult position & get bit around the ankles as well as having shit roll down the hill onto us, metaphorically speaking.

    We ask people to slow down when they do not want to & we ask people to interact with others when they do not want to. All in all both of us have been eating because of the stress we are feeling from the working environment. SO I have pulled out my juicing books & raw food suggested conversion diet plans to get back on track.

    I must confess that I had an accident & since then have not been able to take the weight off & gradually continue to put it back on. I was doing really well with the raw food diet & had lost 60 pounds. I consider myself a strong person but the stress of trying to heal, take care of the finances & work in a hostile environment has proved to be more than challenging.

    I have felt broken with nothing to offer so even dating is out of the game for me. I breathe deeply meditate, do yoga & stretching therapies but my energy has been very low. I have tried to stay away from refined sugar & eat whole raw foods.

    I feel for all of those individuals who suffer through so much in abusive relationships. I’ve been looking for another company to work at where I regard the culture to be healthy. That is hard to find.

    Secrets well even though we have to work with angry people we have to hold ourselves to higher standards. That is a big secret so there you go. I am not allowed to complain or vent just be happy & balanced in a unbalanced angry stressful environment. I continue to look for another career area to work in where I can support myself & not my food addiction.

    I have started a food journal also & back up plans…it is hard. People are not inherently nice like I once thought.

    Love, Light & Peace,
    Cheryl

  18. Would it not be orgasmic to be a breatharian and not have to think about food anymore? That would be amazing. My goal in the next 10 years lol!

    I found small changes have helped –
    eating live digestive enzymes SPROUTS – like alfalfa, broccoli and bean SPROUTS do wonders for energy, slice up an avocado, and sprinkled with himalayan salt, if you ate this everyday for lunch you would feel amazing. Full of natural energy, no bloating, easy digestion and no cravings.

    Drinking coconut water with aloe vera gel – called “TASTE NIRVANA” in a glass jar all natural ingredients better than juice or pop. Way less sugar and calories..Super delicious… very nutritious and healthy.

    I found that eating pineapple chunks or papaya are so delicious and better than chocolate

    if you want to eat chocolate the best is to get it in the bulk section at your health food store and select the dark organic m&m chocolate – small pieces of chocolate with cane sugar instead of processed sugar are better than a whole chocolate bar right? dark chocolate is healthier and even better than milk chocolate

    for chips, it is called popchips – natural flavored real potatoes, not fried NOT baked, it is lightly heated real potato that pops like popcorn and it is better than a greasy potato chip. Even more delicious than popcorn. Yes it is food in a bag, but not overheated and if you crave chips trust me these will fix your cravings..

    Sometimes our cravings overtake us and there are awesome substitutes that can even be healthy for you! Good idea to have a few stashed for those just in case craving moments.

    Keep doing what you do Kevin, keepin’ it real, sharing from the heart, no pride, no shame. Is awesome. Become the fearless health warrior. We do appreciate your sincerity, your life lessons, and also Anne Marie.

  19. Yvonne says:

    Thank you Kevin for all the great articles and videos. You and Annmarie are such an inspiration. I’m addicted to sweets and feel so guilty about it. I can’t seem to have a meal without finishing with a dessert and sometimes two. I don’t have any unhealthy sweets in the house but my husband and I eat out a lot and there always seems to be something I just can’t say no to even though I know all the problems with processed sugar. I’m 60 years old, very healthy, as far as I know, exercise regularly and I’m not overweight. How do I break this bad habit?

  20. I know quite a few people who use food to hide their pain. Its really a sad thing. I suppose we all overcompensate in one way or another to keep ourselves distracted. Some of us just choose healthier ways of doing it. I used to drink. Now, I’m a workaholic, and I’m spastic about keeping the house clean. I always have to be doing something. The upside is that I can eat all I want 🙂

    Dealing with pain is a really complex issue, especially these days when so many people are staggering from life’s blows. The best we can do is love ourselves enough to take care of ourselves the best we can.

  21. Alex says:

    Thank you a million for this amazingly insightful article.
    I can call myself a “spiritual seeker” since I am 12 years old and have tried any transformational work there is out there.
    When I met the man I am still dating, I was radiant , mostly raw ( kinda like you and Annmarie) , loving my life and my cut and lean body.
    He had a skin issue since he was very young ( some form of neurodermitis or something like that) and suffered from it severely. +heavy sweating, thyroid issues, yeast overgrowth etc.
    It was not a big deal I thought as I know ,having studied alternative medicine for 15 years, everything is reversable.
    I bought him everything he needed ,educated him , potioned the itching spots. He had suffered from the itching most his life.
    We dated long distance for almost 3 years till now. When he first started the protocol his skin looked amazing and all the other issues disappeared .
    Would you think he stayed with it? No. And until reading your enlightening article I had not realized that my beautiful , slim model body is burried in about 10 pounds of excess sadness and frustration.
    We even had fights over it as my own immune system which was rock solid started to break and adapt some of his issues.
    My intake of gluten free brownies and cheese increased over the last year.
    He is not interested in evolving in lightning speed and I have to let go of expecting anything but just looking at my own backyard.
    It just doesn’t fit anymore with us and I didn’t have the courage to face it.
    THANK YOU!

  22. zyxomma says:

    I’m a holistic health educator, and one of my former jobs was colonic hydrotherapist. While giving thousands of colonics, I had a revelation. This came about because of giving series of colonics to multiple clients. Here’s my revelation: We take our deepest, darkest, most painful, most shameful secrets and HIDE them in the colon. Why? Think of the physiology of the large intestine: there’s always some place to hide. After all, if I tell you to stick it where the sun don’t shine, just WHERE am I telling you to stick it? Where no light ever gets in!

    I always asked my clients, particularly when I’d gotten to know them, how they were feeling. After the 10th or 12th colonic, very often they’d say, I feel terrific–but I’ve been thinking about my grandmother, and she died when I was three. Or, I feel better than I have in years, but I dreamt about my first dog, who got hit by a car when I was a child.

    They had buried these traumas where they’d never see the light of day. Once their colons were truly clean, and the recirculated water in their bodies was clean (water holds memory), the emotions associated with the repressed traumas surfaced, and they were in much better shape to deal with them.

    I work these days as an iridologist (I have 12 different certifications after three years of school and 40+ years of independent study), and it is very intimate. When I’m helping someone deal with long-term unhealthy habits, I often ask them to bring their spouse or significant other with them, because family support is so important!

    Health and peace, everyone.

  23. Reba says:

    I feel that when it comes time to make the decision between the quinoa salad or McDonalds…I ask myself…Does anyone really care? I know I don’t care enough. I think this is the secret that keeps me from breaking this addiction.

  24. CHRIS says:

    once, a health terapist told me he could not help me lose weight, because my fat was like a big wall protecting me against external agressions, and leaving me without fat , would make me feel defenseless….
    your article confirms this
    i am working at a solution…

  25. Brenda says:

    Food addiction is a great subject for you to address. It is huge. There are soooo many facets to it.
    I help people lose weight (among other things) and I ALWAYS address the emotional reasons they have for being over weight. Sometimes over weight people do not over eat, they have an emotional reason for being over weight so the body accommodates them by lowering their metabolism. Again, there are many, many, many reasons for being over weight. Of course, if you have a food addiction that does not automatically mean you are over weight either. BIG subject. Thank you for opening the can of worms. Bravo!

  26. Cokolino says:

    Hello,
    great article,it help me get clear some things that I do not allow myself to confess and I search all around chocolates,linolada,sweets.
    Thank you for sharing and it is true, you can only become better you by doing honest things and not doing what can make you be in trouble.
    All best,
    Cokolino

  27. Suzanne says:

    Wow…I don’t usually comment, or even click on the email newletter to read the rest of the article, but I’m glad that I did today! Thanks for the insights, but watch what you say about psychologists-the good ones are not pushy!

  28. Ernesto says:

    Dear Kevin,
    Thank you for your wonderful article. It is difficult to understand someone´s trauma if you do not suffer it yourself. I have several health issues but probably the worst is being old. Actually, as Oscar Wilde wrote “the problem is not being old, the problem is to have been young”. The trauma of being old is as serious as any other, but younger people do not appreciate that. And, at least in my case, the problem is more psycological than physical. I do not know why people do not realize that we are also a discriminated minority, prone to overeating and/or to exceed alcohol or drug consumption as an alternative to face reality.

  29. Josette says:

    One of your best article Kevin! Good job! Thank you!

  30. diane says:

    You are amazing!! So much food for thought. I don’t have any obvious food addictions but I do struggle with self-worth, purpose, etc. Ten yrs ago I started body-building and saw great results. I am now 61 and had slowly gained about 10 lbs over the past year or two. Just did a cleanse – using 2 whey shakes a day and lots of veggies. I’ve dropped the extra pounds and am psyched to get back to some serious exercise. My goal is health and fitness but I do wonder if I am addicted to getting great results. I have a lot of self control when it comes to food. If it isn’t healthy, then I generally won’t eat it. Maybe I am too rigid, but then I don’t want to eat stuff that will make me sick. No easy answers, I guess. Love your site!!

  31. Donna says:

    OK, another comment from a previously silent reader! Thank you, Kevin, for posting this article now. As far as secrets, in addition to the ones you and readers mentioned, I believe the current economic woes are affecting more people than we can imagine. I speak for myself and the secret of financial crisis we are keeping from family and friends. I know a lot of people are hanging on by a thread trying to maintain a lifestyle for themselves and their families. Talk about pressure!!

    The silver lining – almost no processed, junk food – too expensive!!

  32. Great article Kevin. You are so right about this issue. I have been a personal trainer, and nutritional counselor for 14 years. And, I know exactly where you are coming from.
    Great job again, keep it up.
    Alexander

  33. I think another reason many people struggle with addictions is they are not following their true path and purpose. I have certainly done this. It is scary to step into ones own power and do what they came to this planet to do. We all have a purpose. But often times most of us are raised to feel not good enough, worthy enough, smart enough. These are issues I have delt with too. But it is the most liberating feeling to move past those issues and find your authentic power. Suddenly you realize the additions are gone.

  34. Your article hits the mark, Kevin. I am a Certified Healing Codes Coach and its just those issues you mentioned for which that I develop a technique that is targeted for the very feeling that hold the person back. Sometimes a person needs a little help to release the charge on the past. Thanks for your clear description of the problem.

  35. Mario S says:

    Thanks for the example of how our thoughts determine our function in life and how that determines the different structures of our games, activities and our bodies.It comes down to our considerations and what we chose to believe is true, so if we can take our confusions apart and unburden our minds we may discover our basic considerations,postulates or thoughts that started it off to begin with and by doing this we can change our minds.It seems to take two beings to illuminate a problem and discharge it because this is a two terminal universe and emotional charge acts similar to electricity. You might say we are somewhat like Electric Eels at times and grateful for another one to communicate with.
    Thanks Kevin and Annemarie, you’re really helpful beings.

  36. Tara Burner says:

    Excellent, deep article Kevin….
    wow so much to say but yet I can’t find the right words. That doesn’t happen often, me…lacking for words! hmmmm hopefully this comes out right—sexual secrets can affect health, eating habits…and not in the sense that most may think but if a person wants to be sure that someone is with them for reasons other than sexual/physical they may develop eating habits (bingeing/overeating/etc) and intentionally gain weight in order to determine if the people in their life are there genuinely or because of lustful reasons.

  37. […] [This is Part 3 of a 5 part Addicted to Food Series that was inspired by the Oprah Winfrey Network show "Addicted to Food." Here's part 1 and part 2.] […]

  38. Kathy says:

    Our brain is the cause of addictions. Something (food, drugs, sex) stimulates the brain to release feel-good chemicals and that drives us to seek out that something over and over again to get the same effect. When deprived of it we are cranky and moody, possibly feel ill, until we get the something again and restart the cycle. Happy people can get addicted just as unhappy people can. We always try to find childhood traumas or unhappy situations to blame, and there certainly are factors that can contribute to someone beginning to take drugs, drink alcohol, or eat junk food to deal with stress or painful memories. But someone might do that at a happy celebration and end up addicted as well. Imagine the confusion and frustration of someone being told that they need to deal with the cause of their addiction if they hope to overcome it, and they are at a loss because there isn’t a great trauma to reveal. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

  39. […] "Addicted to Food" Series inspired by the new show on the Oprah Winfrey Network. Here is part 1, part 2 and part […]

  40. Joe Malak says:

    Thoughtfully penned, Kevin. Very helpful!

  41. Michaela says:

    I’m so greatful, you shared that content and your experience, Kevin!

    Many times I tried to cry and I just couldn’t. I know, I’ve blocked my emotions in ilusion to protect myself. And today after reading about “Sally” and reading that sentence: “Imagine being alone every night in total fear that if you were with someone they would eventually hurt you or leave.” I fanially let go and cried with a relieve and pain in my heart. It touched me so deeply…

    I had a great childhood, nourished by love from my parents. When I was growing up, things started to change, however and I experienced bullying at school. I started to shut down emotionally and spending my time isolating from others. I felt unloved and lonely.
    And that’s when my eating problems began. It became a tool to fill up the emptiness within me, at least I thought so.
    It wasn’t long until, I started to put on weight. And so apart from emptiness and feeling unloved and lonely, now it was quilt as well. And anger, anger towards myself, for not being the way I wanted myself to be.
    I would spend days eating and then going to gym wondering, if it prevents me from getting fat.

    I fninshed studying and left to another coutry, still looking for solutions and answers. I was reading,looking for answer everywhere I could. I read self-help books, I learned about nutrition, exercise(also became a personal trainer), anything that could make me feel good and help me find solutions. Still thiriving for perfection and balance in life.

    To make long story short.
    Over that years, I’ve developed bulimia, was experiencing anxiety, mild depression, helplessnes and luck of enthusiasm, negativity. I hated myself for what I was doing to my body. I knew there must be a way. And there truly was!
    Exercise and nutrition helped me to get a bit of balance and to stabilize myself. I’ve stopped making myself sick. And I learned to be positive and appreciate little things in my life. I became very enthusiastic about living and life in general. I have come a very long way… !

    As I realized I still hold onto some resentment, negative feelings from those times, when life didn’t seem as pretty and beautiful as today.
    I’ve also notice, when it comes down to very close relationships, I don’t let people in. The fear of being hurt is sooo big.
    So It’s time to let go of that baggage and feelings that I do no longer wish to be part of me….(together with those few extra pounds;)
    I hope most of us can learn to let go and forgive, to feel safe and trust the process of life, which brings a beautiful peace. Trusting, it’s all happening perfectly despite the circumstances.
    Thank you!XM.

    but even though I felt something is still not right. I would be happy, but something inside me didn’t resonate. And then I realised I’m still not letting people in, I was experiencing joy, when I could help someone or listen to their problems, but when it went down to me. I didn’t want to share, I was scared. And I’m still at a times. My weight is pretty much the same anytime, I go too close I realized there are things, blocakages i need to let go off.I realized there are certain , which I need to let go off

  42. Michaela says:

    O.k. the last paragraph didn’t meant to send:))

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